The Lazy Yogi

longhairedpixie asked: Hey lazyyogi, I could use some advice! I have always been a fan of meditation and the Buddhist way of life, but I'm a very emotional person, and I find it hard to just let things go. Recently I lost almost all my friends in a particularly nasty breakup, and I've been feeling very alone. I know that my unhappiness stems from my reaction to the situation, and also from the fact that I depend on others for happiness, but its been really hard for me to change these things. Any advice? Namaste

You are not an emotional person, you are just in the habit of indulging your emotions without being aware of the fact that you are making that choice.

The practice of meditation will help you to become unshaken by the things you feel and the practice of mindfulness will help to keep you aware of when these emotions begin to take root in you. It is easier to let a cloud pass through you than a storm you have inadvertently allowed to brew within. 

I am very sorry to hear about your friends, these kinds of things can happen in life. Real friends tend to stick around but even so I can understand the feeling of loneliness. 

Loneliness can only occur when there is the belief in Self and Other. You are here and everyone else is elsewhere. This creates a feeling of disconnection, separation, and sadness. 

But aloneness is something different. When you can accept through experience that all things are connected without boundaries, there is neither loneliness nor camaraderie. If all is One then all is Alone together. We are all alone together. 

Until you can be happy and at peace while you are in aloneness, you will not be able to be truly happy and friendly toward other people. Otherwise friends will just become antidotes for loneliness. 

Being alone and thinking about others is loneliness. Being alone with your own presence is aloneness. Loneliness is in the mind, aloneness is in the heart of your Existence. 

Accept this moment, this time in your life. Do not reject it out of fear but instead go deeply into it. Draw no conclusions, thoughts, or judgements but rather feel it. 

You are naked and alone sandwiched between an endless sky and a vast earth. What is lacking?

When you go inward, you will see the outward for what it truly is. 

Namaste, friend. :) much love