This is an experiment because I don’t write many personal posts. But since I strive to be like a yogi it may be helpful to lay certain things bare. So you can know that it isn’t always easy, always blue endless skies and the kisses of stillness.
But even when it is hell, when it is sorrow and pain and death and fear, there is more. I suppose it is meaningful that this is occurring during our week of compassion.
Once upon a time I had a girlfriend. It wasn’t perfect but it was perfect. That kind of couple, always on and off. And now, a year after college graduation, it is gone.
It defined my sense of self, my ego, so deeply that this suffering is ripping through my every layer. But this suffering is happening internally, there is no external force. It is an unconscious choice due to identifying with something temporary.
All I can do is become my own source of love. All I can do is become present and continue breathing.
Stop holding onto things. Stop holding your breath.
If you can bring a little peace, a little love, a little space into the pain, it changes everything. Let go of the story in your head and dare to be Here without a script, naked and beautiful.
Maybe, if I am blessed, I’ll take my own words to heart.
Namaste, sangha. Thanks for listening.
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- phqpf said: That took courage. You are also very lucky to have been treated to the experience. I once had a four-month fling with a Carolinas southern belle. When it ended I was suicidal for weeks. Y’know wut? I think I’ll tumblr this!
- hemamali said: As you already know, this too will pass. I have nothing to tell you that you already do not know. But I feel your suffering. Mettha.
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- tearinyourhand said: Thank you so much for sharing and good luck to you
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- seekingserenityy said: beautiful
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- lions-brave-heart said: thank you for sharing this~
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- zengmar said: <3
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